Packing for a trip to the Highlands, you say?
A serene and simple process of rolling up socks and folding jumpers, you imagine? HA. Try orchestrating a logistical ballet of gadgets, goblets, pipes, and deeply personal debates over how many types of hat one man truly needs.
Yes, it’s the annual Packing & Planning Panic at Farley HQ. Population: two increasingly animated travellers, one remarkably calm daughter (thank you, Catherine), and a black cat named Alice, who is visibly delighted to be staying home where the food schedule is reliable and nobody tries to strap her into a tartan harness.
The Wardrobe Wars
First up: clothes. I've packed the essentials — socks, thermals, a hat for dreich weather, and of course, my beloved deerstalker. If I’m going to peer suspiciously over moors and solve minor mysteries ("Where's my hip flask gone?"), I must look the part.
Sarah, meanwhile, has packed with military precision. No sparkles, no frills — just solid, waterproof, and probably bulletproof footwear. She’s ready for bogs, boulders, and anything the Highlands can throw at her. I, on the other hand, am still wondering if I need that third hat.
And let us not forget my Calabash pipe (goes so well with the deerstalker, for the complete Holmsian vibe - don’t you think?), a tin of vintage tobacco, and my trusty Zippo lighter - all vital for dramatic pondering by loch sides.
Rucksack of Doom (a.k.a. The Tech Bag)
Then there's the rucksack. This isn’t so much a bag as a mobile command centre for a small film crew. I must ensure that every piece of tech is packed, tested, and compatible, because without it… there will be no blog. And nobody wants to be left dangling mid-Nessie encounter with no photographic evidence.
Mental Checklist:
- Camera:✔️
- Waterproof Case ✔️
- Batteries ✔️
- Charger ✔️
- SD Cards (some possibly containing old footage of a sausage roll in Peterborough) ✔️
- Tablet:✔️
- Keyboard and Mouse ✔️
- Android Hub — that magical widget that connects everything together ✔️
- Portable Monitor:✔️
- HDMI Cable ✔️
- Stand ✔️
- Phone + Earbuds ✔️
- Emergency Charging Block (a.k.a. “The Brick of Salvation”) ✔️
- All the cables with different connectors — knowing full well there will be one cable that I have forgotten and will have to buy when I get there! ✔️
- Whisky Flask & Portable Goblets - to get into the mood! ✔️
- Mineral Water - to balance the whisky and swallow down any emergency haggis rations. ✔️
New Additions to the Chaos
Every year brings new lessons, and this year’s is: never underestimate the number of bizarre items you’ll convince yourself are “essential.”
- One folding spork (in case of haggis emergencies — or if someone offers us a dubious stew out of a van)
- A backup map, in case the GPS tells us to “head west” across a loch
- A mysterious small silver coin tucked in the bottom of the bag, just in case we encounter a kelpie, a toll-collecting goblin, or an unusually persuasive bagpiper
Also briefly considered, but vetoed:
- A foghorn
- An inflatable lighthouse
- A “just-in-case” emergency kilt (currently under review for next year’s list)
The Great Technology Trial
The goal? To make sure:
- The tablet connects to the monitor
- The monitor doesn’t catch fire when plugged into a hotel kettle
- The camera uploads without hiccup
- The blog stays alive and caffeinated
- And most importantly — that I remember to pack the actual plug adapters, unlike 2019’s tragic “All Battery and No Juice” tour of Whitby
A Final Note
Packing is not just preparation. It’s a ritual of chaos, mislabelled chargers, last-minute panics, and at least three solemn declarations of “we’re not bringing that” followed by quietly packing it anyway. But once we’re on that train to Edinburgh — with all our gear, flask full of Laphroaig, deerstalker donned, looking whistfully at my calabash - because: 'No Smoking in Trains', and one camera pointed vaguely at the window — we’ll laugh about it.
…Eventually ...Honest ...Promise!
Until then, wish us luck. Catherine and Alice have the home front under control — and if you don’t hear from us... please send a USBc cable.
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